英语小笑话带翻译短
英语小笑话带翻译短 英语小笑话带翻译短一： Do You Know My Work? One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire. “Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don't know my work，” said the other. “What is your work?” “I'm a policeman. “Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman. “I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.” 你知道我是干什么的吗? 一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。 两个人站在外面，看着大火。 “在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。 “你是干什么的?” “我是警察。” “噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。 “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的.故事。” 英语小笑话带翻译短二： Wife talking to her husband，who reads newspaper all day: I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day. Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily 妻子和丈夫谈话，他一天到晚总是看报纸，妻子抱怨说：我要是报纸就好了，那样我就可以天天在你手里了。 丈夫说我也希望那样，那样我就可以每天换一个了。 NOTE I wish I were ....是虚拟语气的说法，表示希望发生但不会发生的。 英语小笑话带翻译短三： The Crowded Store It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again. As he got up, he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!" 一天，一个商店降价大甩卖。人们在开店之前就排在了商店门前，排成了很长的一队。一个身材矮小的人推挤着想到队伍的前面，但被推了回来，而且被咒骂着插队。那个人又一次努力往前挤， 但是又被挤到了最后面，而且下巴被重重的碰了几下，他对最后一个人说：“如果他们再次这样对我，我就不去开商店门了!!!” ;
短的英语笑话带翻译
短的英语笑话带翻译 短的英语笑话带翻译一： Walking up to a department store's fabric(织物，布) counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?""Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with asmirk(假笑，傻笑) . "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly(故意使人烦恼地) held it out.The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer(老家伙) standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill." 一个漂亮的女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台，说：“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子，多少钱?”“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着，带着奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩说，“我要十码。”带着期待的.表情，售货员很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一脸奸笑地送了过来。女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头：“爷爷给我付账。” 短的英语笑话带翻译二： When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. "I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I've forgotten it . What can that mean?""It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake," the teacher explained. 一名学生在班上没有做出老师的教学题，他感到很遗憾，对老师解释说：“我记得昨天夜里做梦对这道题解对了，但现在一时想不起来了。这说明什么?”“这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明”。老师解释说。 短的英语笑话带翻译三： A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked(不及格，失败) all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself." 校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈，我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!” ;
5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话有哪些？
如下：1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。小约翰尼站了起来。“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogsA man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Doesyour dog bite?”The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
关于好笑易懂的英语笑话？
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网路、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。我精心收集了，供大家欣赏学习!
：Farmer's Bull
Farmer: I've got a bull that's right off it duties. It's got to service 300 cows and all it wants to do is eat.
Vet: Give it one of these little pills in its feed and stand back.
So 2 weeks later the farmer es back to the vet:
Farmer: WOW, what a pill! I gave the pill to the bull like you said and POW! It jumped over the gate, ran down the lane and *** ed 70 cows in 30 minutes.
Vet: So, what's the problem - why have you e back?
Farmer: Well, I was wondering, I am meeting this 18-year-old tonight - could you give me one of those tablets? I'm not as young as I was.
Vet: Oh, no! Sorry, it's too strong but I will give you a quarter of a pill.
So the farmer takes the pill and goes off to prepare for his date. Several days later, the farmer goes back to the Vet.
Farmer: Hello, Vet. Wonderful. 40 Times.
Vet: So, why have you e back? Farmer: Ah! I need something for my wrist - she never showed up!
：Farmer's Daughter
There was a men who is lost in a forest during a storm. He came to a house and knocked on the door. A farmer came out and asked, "what the hell do you want?"
The man asked, "Could I spend a night here?"
"Sure, but you can't touch my daughter."
So the man was sleeping that night, when the daughter came in. And that night, they did it. The next night, they did it, too. The next night, they did it, again.
Until one night, the daughter said to the man, "I am tired of doing it in your room."
So the man went to the daughter's room and did it. The next night, they did it The next night, they did it, too The next night, they did it again.
They have done it in every single room in the house EXECPT the father's room.
So one night they decided to go to the father's room and do it. When they went in, the father has fallen deep into sleep.
The man asked, "what the hell is that hairy thing in his bed?"
The daughter said, "it's his hairy ass"
So the man and the daughter were doing it in his room for 2 weeks and they loved it.
But unfortunatly, one day, the father came to the man and go, "we need to talk."
"What, I didn't have sex with your daughter!"
"I will tell you the truth, I don't care if you have sex with my daughter anymore, just don't use my hairy ass as a score board!"
：Rooster
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard.
Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. 'So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.' He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well, I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finish's first gets to have all the hens for himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster. "And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy," said the young rooster.
So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gatheringaround to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster.
By now the farmer has heard all the motion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.
As he walks away slowly, he says to himself . . . "Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."
：Pigs
A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decidedit must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup and drove down to the woods and shagged them all.
The next day he called the vet again, and asked how would he know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be lying down rolling in the mud, but when he looked out the window not even one was lying down. So, he loaded them up in his pickup again and drove them to the woods and shagged them all again. To his di *** ay they were all standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time.
By the next morning the farmer is beat, so he asks his wife to hop out of bed and look out the window to see what the pigs are doing. She says "hmmm - that's weird, they are all in the truck and one of them is blowing the horn".
简短的英语笑话大全？
英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。本文是简短的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
简短的英语笑话：A Small Boy and a Donkey
小男孩与驴子
A *** all boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad***少年，小伙子*** . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.
So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.
一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么?
这样，他就不会去参军了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。
简短的英语笑话：Johnny The Gambler
Little Johnny's dad was a retired gambler. Having picked up a few of his old man's bad habits, Johnny wagered on anything and everything, and he was good at it. Eventually, it became such a problem, that Johnny's teacher called his father to discuss it. After a long conversation, they decided to teach him a lesson.
One day after class Johnny approached his teacher. "You're not really blonde," he said. "I've seen your bush and it's pitch black, you dye your hair."
"I most certainly do not," she replied.
"I bet you ten bucks you do," he said.
She saw that this was an opportunity to teach him a lesson, so she waited for all the other children to leave the class and took off her pants, showing him that her pubic hair was the same color as the hair on her head. Johnny paid her the ten dollars and walked sullenly out of the room.
A few hours later Johnny's teacher called his father. "I think I finally taught him a lesson," she said.
"The hell you have," his father said angrily. "This morning he bet me $50 he'd see your vagina before the end of the day."
简短的英语笑话：Airplane Conversation
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
简短的英语笑话：No Temper Tantrums On This Plane
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.
"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The old man *** iles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
简短的英语笑话：Dog jokes
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?
A: A jet setter!
Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has?
A: Puppy dogs!
Q: Why did the dachshund bite the woman's ankle?
A: Because he was short and couldn't reach any higher!
Q: Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
A: In the mush room!
Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites!
Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
A: An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!
Q: What do you call an alcoholic dog?
A: A whino!
Q: What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
A: Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!
Q: When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?
A: When the door is open!
Q: Why don't dogs make good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!
简短的英语笑话
简短的英语笑话（精选12篇） 英语笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁，是一种重要的交际手段。下面是我为大家收集的简短的英语笑话（精选12篇），希望对大家有帮助！ 简短的英语笑话1 These Are My Jeans! After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago. “Look，look.” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband.“I can wear my old jeans again.” Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans.” 那是我的裤子! 一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。” 简短的英语笑话2 The mean mans party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客。 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 简短的英语笑话3 All I do is pay. "My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary." "Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?" "Im the people. All I do is pay." 我要做的一切就是付钱。 布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。” “听上去挺有意思的'，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？” “我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。” 简短的英语笑话4 one day after school the teacher said to his students, "tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, i will permit him or her to go home earlier." 一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：“明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。” the next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed(涂抹) . he was very angry and asked, "who did it? please stand up!" "its me," said bob, "now, i can go home. good-bye, sir." 第二天，老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟，他非常生气的问：“谁涂的？请站起来！”鲍勃说：“先生，是我，现在我可以回家了，再见！” 简短的英语笑话5 before the final examination, tom told his mother, "mom, i had a dream last night that id passed todays exam." 在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。” "dont trust dreams, dear. it is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." mother replied. “不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。 "then i do hope ill fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," tom said. “那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。 简短的英语笑话6 Saving lives. At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" "To save lives." The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school," replied the professor. 简短的英语笑话7 The mourners pain. A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I dont wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than Ive ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wifes first husband.” 简短的英语笑话8 Black eyes. A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.” The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?” “Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.” 简短的英语笑话9 Why should I give you money. A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didnt donate even a cent to a charity. "First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and its not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sisters husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..." "Im terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money." The Lawyer responds, "Yeah, well if Im not giving them any money, why should I give you any?" 简短的英语笑话10 The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 简短的英语笑话11 One day, the father lets eight-year-old son send a letter. The son took the letter. The father then remembered he didnt write address and addressees name on the envelope. After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter into the mail box?" "Certainly." "You didnt notice that?the envelope does not have address and addressees name on it?" "I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope." "Then why?didnt you take it back?" "I thought that you?did not write address and addressee, because you wouldnt let me know to whom you send the letter!" 简短的英语笑话12 The New Teacher. George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didnt like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." ;
非常短的英语小笑话
非常短的英语小笑话 当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑，还会觉得冷很冷，可是自己看的时候，却笑到不行，你有这样的经历么?以下的非常短的英语小笑话，希望能让你欢乐笑不停。 非常短的英语小笑话(一) 纹身 A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters，he wrote，"I'm going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.” 二战中，汤姆和我刚结婚几个月，他就被派到珍珠港。在他早期的一封信中，他写道:“我想把海军战舰纹刻在胸前。” Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo，and I'll have a duplicate put on my chest. " 我没有劝阻，只是简单地回了信:“给我寄一张你纹旁的照片来，然后我也在我的'胸前仿纹一个。” We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo. 我们现在已结婚51年了，谁也没纹过身。 非常短的英语小笑话(二) 关心 A customer at my teller's window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank，dig a hole in his back yard and bury it. 一位顾客站在我的出纳窗口前，埋怨存钱的利率太低。最后，他说他妥把所有的钱从银行里取出来，在自家后院挖个坑，把钱理了。 The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir，I couldn't help overhearing. Tell me, what is your address?". 隔壁窗口的出纳员探过身来说:“先生，我实在不怒愉听，但还是听到了，告诉我，您住在什么地才?” 非常短的英语小笑话(三) 过分紧张 My little girl loves animals，but one day she was bitten by a small field mouse she'd found. She carried it home in her pocket and told me what happened. Worried about rabies，I called our town humane society and was told that the animal would have to be examined, and they'd send someone for it. 我的小女儿喜欢动物。但有一天，她被一只她找到的小田鼠咬了一口。她把那小动物放在口袋里带了回来，并把所发生的一切都告诉了我。由于害怕她被传染上鼠痊，我给镇上的私区医院打了电话。他们告诉我这个小动物应被检查一下，还说他们会派人去把它取走。 When the humane-society truck pulled up，a big man got out，put on a pair of gauntlets and took a capture stick and a big cage from the back of the truck. Trying not to laugh, I handed him a small shoe box containing the mouse. 社区医院的卡车停在了我家门口，一个大个子下了车，他戴上了防护手套，从车的后箱里取出一根棍子和一个笼子。我 尽量克制自己不笑出来，把那装有小田鼠的杜盒子递给了他。 "Lady，"he said，seeing my expression, "they only told me it was a wild animal. " “太太，”当他看到我的表情时他说，“他们只告诉我说是好生动物。” 非常短的英语小笑话(四) 异奇! My first waitressing job was in a coffee shop. We featured a lunch special called "Tuna Salad Surprise"，a tuna sandwich served with soup and chips. When our sandwich maker didn't show up for work one hectic Saturday，we had to prepare our own sandwiches. 我做招待工作始于咖啡店。我们有道午餐特餐叫“金枪鱼沙拉异奇”。这个套餐实际上就是把金枪鱼三明治、汤、薯条技在一起吃.一个例霉竹星期六，我们那做特餐三明治的 厨师没来上班，我们只好自己准备三明治。 A man sat down and ordered the special. I raced to the sandwich board，prepared the order，poured his coffee and rushed to the next customer. Later，as I delivered his check,he noted politely that he had never. eaten a potato-salad sandwich before. Horrified at my mistake，I asked，”Why didn't you tell me it was potato salad instead of tuna?" 一位男食客坐下来，要了这道特餐。我跑到了三明治拒台，替他准备好了套餐，又给他倒了一杯咖啡，就开始招待下一位食容。不久，我把帐单递给了要特餐的食客.他很礼 貌地说，他从没吃过土豆沙拉三明治。这时我才意识到我把三明治弄错了，我真有点害怕了。我问他:“你为什么不早告诉我特餐是土豆沙拉而不是金枪鱼沙拉呢?” "I thought that was the surprise.” “我还以为那就是所谓的异奇呢. ;
英语短笑话大全
冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。我精心收集了英语短笑话，供大家欣赏学习! 英语短笑话篇1 Little boy: Daddy, I want to get married. 小男孩：爸爸，我想结婚。 Father jokingly said: Oh! Who did you have in mind? 爸爸打趣地问道：噢!谁是你心中合适的人选? Little boy: Grandma. 小男孩：奶奶。 Father: Wait a minute, you did not think I'd let you marry my mother, did you? 爸爸：等一下，你认为我会让你娶我的妈妈? Little boy: Why not? You married mine. 小男孩：为什么不?你娶了我的妈妈。 英语短笑话篇2 As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time. 作为一个小学的乐队指挥，为了确保学生投入足够的时间练习，我要求他们上交由他们父母签字的练习单。 I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours. 可是有一次，一位家长的签字把我逗乐了。练习单上写着：“练习了17分钟，但犹如几个时辰。” 英语短笑话篇3 A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. his friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - the dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper. 一位养狗人宣称：要是给了爱犬钱，它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示，并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了，仍不见它带报纸回来。 "how much did you give him?" asked the owner. 一位养狗人宣称：要是给了爱犬钱，它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示，并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了，仍不见它带报纸回来。 "five dollars. “五元。” "well, that explains it. when you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie. "这就是了。你给它五元钱时，它就去看电影。 英语短笑话篇4 Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway. 一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。 "Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.“ 你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。” On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" 在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么?” "I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.“ 很遗憾，“你活不成了。”
