一分钟笑话

时间:2024-09-24 02:08:31编辑:小松

一分钟逗笑全场的笑话有哪些?

你好亲亲,手相大师:你的手掌很大,你一定很孤单。我:啊?这都能看出来,为什么呢?手相大师:因为,越掌大越孤单。4、跟女朋友吵架,女朋友大声吼道:“就算你给我买上次看上的那款口红和我心仪已久的那款包包,我也不会原谅你的!”我心领神会,赶紧哄她:“放心放心,我不会买的!”5、不管去哪里,我的钱包总会放一张老婆的照片,不为别的,就是为了提醒一下自己钱是怎么没的!6、今天突然发现,初中恋爱死于换座,高中死于分班,大学死于毕业,而我都不是,到现在没恋爱,死于长相。7、一分钟逗笑全场的笑话段子,我知道我伸出手你肯定不会跟我走,于是我伸出腿把你绊了一跤,你果然站起来追着我跑。于是我不得不承认:自古深情留不住,总是套路得人心。8、你要是喜欢一个女生,就好好学习,找个好工作,挣好多好多钱,等她结婚的时候,你多出点份子钱。9、人生如梦,我总失眠;人生如戏,我总穿帮;人生如歌,我总跑调;【摘要】
一分钟逗笑全场的笑话有哪些?【提问】
你好亲亲,手相大师:你的手掌很大,你一定很孤单。我:啊?这都能看出来,为什么呢?手相大师:因为,越掌大越孤单。4、跟女朋友吵架,女朋友大声吼道:“就算你给我买上次看上的那款口红和我心仪已久的那款包包,我也不会原谅你的!”我心领神会,赶紧哄她:“放心放心,我不会买的!”5、不管去哪里,我的钱包总会放一张老婆的照片,不为别的,就是为了提醒一下自己钱是怎么没的!6、今天突然发现,初中恋爱死于换座,高中死于分班,大学死于毕业,而我都不是,到现在没恋爱,死于长相。7、一分钟逗笑全场的笑话段子,我知道我伸出手你肯定不会跟我走,于是我伸出腿把你绊了一跤,你果然站起来追着我跑。于是我不得不承认:自古深情留不住,总是套路得人心。8、你要是喜欢一个女生,就好好学习,找个好工作,挣好多好多钱,等她结婚的时候,你多出点份子钱。9、人生如梦,我总失眠;人生如戏,我总穿帮;人生如歌,我总跑调;【回答】


一分钟逗笑全场的笑话有哪些?

一分钟逗笑全场的笑话有:1、我是一个胖子。我和女友性格各异,但是她和我分手的理由只有一个。今天她说,看你久了,觉得好腻哦!2、三个老鼠分别品尝美、日、中国的酒,喝美国酒的老鼠,走了3步就倒了;喝日本酒的老鼠,走了2步就倒了;喝中国二锅头的老鼠,手拿菜刀,大喊:"TMD猫呢?"3、在餐馆里吃饭时,一位等了很长时间的顾客呼唤服务员问到"我点的红烧鱼怎么还没做好?""请您再稍等片刻,先生。""怎么?还要等?"顾客生气了,说到"难道你们的鱼是现钓的吗?"4、孩子学习不好,被妈妈痛骂,挨骂后,儿子用哀怨的眼神看着爸爸说:你为什么要娶她?爸爸也用哀怨的眼神说:还不是因为你!5、今天早上,我遇到了我以前的老板,便微笑着对他说:“老板早啊!我真是要好好感谢你,如果当初你没解雇我,我就不会过上现在这样闲散舒适,不劳而获的好日子。”老板也笑了笑说不用客气,然后在我面前的碗里丢了一块钱。

求一个两三分钟的幽默小故事,一定要超搞笑!

求一个两三分钟的幽默小故事,一定要超搞笑!, 急需一篇两到三分钟的幽默小故事 哥们 这个鬼笑话 简直是经典! 有三个鬼,有一天他们在逛街的时候遇到了上帝!他们对上帝说,他们都死得很惨,希望让他们上天堂!上帝很无奈地说,现在天堂的住户太多,已经爆满。但现在还有一个名额!你们说吧,看谁死得最惨,就让谁上天堂! 于是, 第一个鬼开始说了…… 我生前是一个清洁工。工作很辛苦的!从早忙到晚! 有一天,我正在一栋大厦外面擦玻璃!是那种吊在外面的高空危险工作!在第30多楼!突然,我脚一滑,失足掉下去了!我想,完了!要死了!但求生本能让我在无意识地乱抓!很幸运地,我抓住了一个阳台的栏杆,在13楼。我想,有救了!于是想等缓过劲后爬上去!哪知,突然有人把我的手一揎,我又掉下去了!我想,这下我真的完了!但是,我命不该决,底下有一个帐篷接住了我,我庆幸前世肯定积了德!想等缓过劲就下去。谁知,上面掉下来一个冰箱,把我砸死了! 第二个鬼说…… 我生前是一个文员。什么都还好,我有一个老婆,很漂亮。身材很棒!但就是有点水性扬花。我有轻微的心脏病。有一天上班忘了带药,我回家去拿。一进门,看见老婆头发散乱、衣衫不整。肯定有奸夫。于是我满屋找,厨房也找,厕所也找,都没找到。到了阳台,我发现有两只手扒在栏杆上,我想:奸夫!于是把他的手一揎。心想,13楼!看摔不死你!结果等我一看,居然没死!被帐篷接住了!我着急,于是满屋找,进了厨房,发现冰箱够大,于是把冰箱扔下去。终于把他砸死了!我当时太高兴了!大笑不止。谁知笑得心肌埂塞,笑死了! 第三个鬼说…… 我生前是个小混混,但我没做过什么坏事!有一天我到一个女性朋友家里晃!刚刚办完事,她老公突然回了!我得找地方藏起来。于是厨房也找,厕所也找,最后发现他们家冰箱挺大的,于是我就躲进冰箱里去了!我就不明白,她老公 怎么知道我在冰箱里,他居然把冰箱从13楼给扔下去了!我就这样连人带冰箱摔死了! 我需要一个两三分钟的英语幽默短文~~ Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a *** all box with holes punched in the . " What's in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. "So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 猫和老鼠 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道。“一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。 我需要一个两三分钟的英语短文~~带点幽默 Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝;巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似;类似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。” 幽默的英语故事两三分钟左右适合初一用 A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被计程车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking. 老师正在讲课,彼得打起瞌睡来了。 Teacher: Peter!Tell us, what's the biggest in the world? 老师:彼得!你说说,世界上什么最大? Peter: Well, well....eyelids.... 彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮…… Teacher: What?Eyelids? 老师:什么?眼皮? Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world. 彼得:是的,老师。因为我眼睛一闭,眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了 .Cat and Mice猫和老鼠 Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a *** all box with holes punched in the . " What's in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. "So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 猫和老鼠 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。 “盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道。 “一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。” “可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。 “小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。 2.Pig or Witch A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen. 猪还是女巫 一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车,一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时,那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到:“猪!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道:“女巫!”他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时,撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了 求一个剧情曲折引人深思的故事 冷门点一定要跌宕起伏 两三分钟的 不要 辞职书一份 六日初,放于老总案前。 此书醉翁之意不在酒,一是晓之以理,世界杯不巧在西半球开战,我也是没有办法让时光停滞,令昼夜倒置,白天影响工作,我可是事先跟您打招呼了; 二是动之以情,为了心仪之事,我连丢掉饭碗都在所不惜,上哪儿去找这么果断和忠义的下属,再说不就是4年一次吗,您将就著点还不成! 求一个幽默、搞笑一点的小故事。 一天,老师问小明“1+1=?,小明说:‘‘不知道。老师或:“问你家人去。 他去问妈妈,妈妈再吵架,说:“王八蛋。又去问爷爷,爷爷在看电视,说:‘‘黑帮老大。又去问姐姐,姐姐在唱国歌说:“前进,进!又去问哥哥,哥哥再吃雪糕,说:“好爽啊!又去问妹妹,妹妹在唱儿歌,说:“小兔子乖乖,把门开开。 第二天,老师问小明1+1=?小明说:“王八蛋。’”老师说:“谁教你的,小明说:’黑帮老大。老师说:“你在干什么小明说:“前进,进!下课了,老师问滋味如何?小明说:“好爽啊!老师吧小明关了起来,小明说:“ 小兔子乖乖,把门开开,老师倒了。 两三分钟的简单的英语故事 A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer. "What a terrible voice!"he said. "Do you know who she is?" "yes." was the answer,"she is my wife." "Oh,I beg your parden," the man said. "Of course her voice isn't bad, but the song is very bad. I wondered who wrote that awful song?" " I did," was the answer. 有一个妇女在唱歌。一个宾馆的客人对旁边的男人问道:“这是多么可怕的歌声啊,你知道她是谁?” “是的”,男人回答到“他是我妻子”。 “OH,我的兄弟,其实她的声音并不难听,主要是这歌词写的不好,是谁写的这么可怕的歌词?” “我写的”男人回答道. Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus s. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man *** iled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.” 上周,布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦。她不太熟悉伦敦,结果她迷路了。突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子。她急忙向这位男子走去,说道:“劳驾您一下!请您告诉我去医院的路,好吗?”这位男子笑了。他听不懂英语。他来自德国。但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里,从里面掏出了一本英语词典。他查询到了一些单词。然后他一字一句地说:“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话。” Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman." "Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?" "They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once. "Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.". 迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。 孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说:“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块。不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。” 迪克问:“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?” 他姨妈马上回答说:“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。” 迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说:“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧 求一个超搞笑 幽默的网名 100分. 此id姓名以隐藏 因为本人过帅导致网名无法显示 帅的被人砍 七尺 *** 发粪涂墙 因帅被判三年 美的惊动党中央 帅的不敢上厕所 一个三分钟的数学小故事 ①我乘坐的双层巴士中,1层连我在内一共有25名乘客,售票员告诉我2层的乘客人数是1层的40%。那么这辆车上总共有多少人呢? ②有只猴子从森林里采了100根香蕉堆成一堆,猴子家离香蕉堆50米,猴子打算把香蕉搬回家,每次最多能背50根,可是猴子嘴馋,每往前走1米要吃1根香蕉,问猴子最多能背回家几根香蕉? ③如果让你掷两颗骰子24次得到一个“双六”,你觉得可能性大于50%吗? ④有A、B、C三人。 A说:“我有1个哥哥,3个妹妹。” B说:“我有2个哥哥,2个妹妹。” C说:“我有3个哥哥,1个妹妹。” 实际上这3人都同为兄弟姐妹,那么他们兄弟姐妹总共有几人呢? 另附答案①、37 ②、25 ③、17世纪时,一个热衷赌博的法国贵族安东·戈姆伯·切维利尔·德·梅尔怀疑赌博的机会一直不利于他。于是他写信把自己的怀疑告诉了数学家布莱斯帕斯卡和皮埃尔·德 费马。他们发现,掷24次得双六的概率是35/36的24次幂,大约是0.49。这意味着玩很多次后总的来说是输的。戈姆伯的小要求标志著概率论的诞生。 ④、6


幽默故事,1分钟的,越搞笑越好!

1 一天,三只小猪为了躲避大灰狼的追赶,而建造了三个小屋。 大灰狼不费劲的吹毁了草屋,木屋,砖屋,三只小猪们拼命的跑,但是还是被大灰狼追上了。三只小猪绝望地说,你看着办吧。阿拉放弃了,随你怎样。 此时,大灰狼*笑着,留着口水说:那快告诉我小红帽在哪里?2 当老婆刚刚冲完澡出来,老公正要开始淋浴时,门铃响了 在几秒争吵谁该去应门之后老婆放弃了 裹了条毛巾急忙下楼去开门她打开门看见Bob 她的邻居在她还没开口之前 Bob就说:“如果你把那条毛巾拿下我就给你$800。” 老婆想了想,就脱下毛巾赤裸站在Bob面前 过了几秒Bob给了钱就走了老婆困惑又兴奋她的好运,裹上毛巾上楼 当她回到浴室老公问她:“刚刚是谁呀?” “隔壁的Bob啦!”她回答 “很好,”老公说:“那他有没有拿他欠我的$800还我?”


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